Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Friday Guy Day in Denver

Last Friday when we were in Denver...

The Lady and some of her friends with white fur - Ms. Joni, Ms. Becca, and Ms. Cindy -wanted to go shopping at a special store where you buy the fancy sticks and string that they like to use to make stuff.  Ms. Becca is just learning how to play with sticks and strings.  She went along to look at all of the pretty string and because she likes to hang around with The Lady, Ms. Cindy, and Ms. Joni.

Mr. Guy, Mr. Scott F (Ms. Joni’s brother) and Mr. Scott G (Ms. Cindy’s Mr. Guy) don’t know how to play with sticks and string and they don't have any interest in learning. The boys would all much rather play with trains. Since I am a boy, I spent my day with them.  I think that a little blue and orange furry monster with sticks and string might be a disaster.  I like it when Ms. Joni and The Lady work their magic with the string and I end up with sweaters and hats that are already made!

I knew a little bit about trains. I had been on the light rail train at home in Dallas. It was a big train, not the size of a toy.  When Mr. Guy told me that we were going to go see trains, I thought they were going to be too big for this little monster to play with. Mr. Guy explained that he and the Mr. Scotts like to play with model trains. Model trains are trains that look just like the big trains but are much smaller.  Mr. Guy says he doesn't have any of these little model trains anymore. He did when he was younger. The Mr. Scotts told me that they belong to model railroad clubs where they live. I got a bit confused.  Railroads?  I thought that we were talking about trains!  Mr Guy explained that trains are the individual cars and the railroad is everything having to do with trains - all the train cars and the track put together in one big package. He said its like when the ladies play with their sticks and strings it is called knitting. Knitting means the sticks, the string, the pattern, and the playing with the sticks and strings!  I think I now understand.

So while the ladies looked at string, we guys went to the Colorado Railroad Museum.  I was a little confused again. I didn’t have my dictionary to look up words and I wasn't sure what a museum was. So Mr. Guy told me that a museum is a place where people keep special things that they don’t want to be damaged, or that they want lots of people to be able to see. The museum is a place where things are kept safe when they get old or can't be used anymore.

An art museum has art in it and a science museum has science things in it. I asked if that meant our house was a museum because we have lots of art and things on the walls and The Lady says that there are science experiments in the refrigerator. Mr. Guy said not really because we do not preserve our stuff so that lots of people can come see it. He said that our house may be kind of a private museum for us and our friends.  But, not a science museum.  No one wants to see the experiments in our refrigerator.

Mr Guy told me that the railroad museum has lots of train cars - old ones and newer ones - and special ones that people might not get to see unless they visit the museum. I understand better now...things in a museum are there so that lots and lots of people can see them, even little blue and orange monsters!

W were on our way!  Mr. Guy, the Mr. Scotts and I headed to the train museum. The first thing we did was walk to find the bus that would take us to the station to wait for a real train that we rode to the museum! That was a lot of ways of transportation already!

I have to say that Mr Guy is not as good at picture taking as The Lady but he did his best.

The Lady and her girlfriends were shopping in Denver.  We went all the way to another city. It is called Golden. Golden did not look very golden to me, but Mr Guy said it got its name because they dig up lots of gold there. I wondered if we would get any gold.  In case you are wondering...we did not.

When we got off of the train, Mr Scott G thought there was a button we could push to get us to the museum. He said someone had told him about this button.  I wasn't sure about that...a magic button? Mr Guy explained that it was supposed to be a button to let someone know that we were there to visit the museum.  I sort of understood this idea to be like our doorbell at home, but we never found any button, magic or otherwise. We did, however, see a green van and the man inside agreed to take us to the Visitors Center, for free!  I thought that maybe this was a  magic man driving a magic van.  Nothing is ever free!  Nope.  Our train tickets allowed us to ride in the magic green van.  Though I guess that means that the van was not really free because we had to buy tickets to ride the train.  It just felt free and maybe a little bit magic.

The van took us to the Golden Visitor's center...not a golden visitor's center, and not the train museum. We looked around there a little. There was a big statue of a bear.

Mr Guy told me that there are lots of bears in the woods near Golden, but that the bears rarely ever come into town. I was glad to hear that because this was a very big statue of a very scary looking bear.  Mr Guy said that the real bears are the same size as the statue!  I did not want to meet one of them!

We also saw a dragon!  Well, it was a statue too.   I asked Mr. Guy if dragons and bears were friends and if there were dragons in the woods too.  He assured me that I did not have to worry about meeting a real dragon.

Mr Guy said this dragon was made to honor the president of a special club.  I wondered what kind of president would make people think of a dragon.  I kept that thought to myself.

I was beginning to think that the only train we were going to see was the one that we rode to Golden. Fortunately, Mr Scott F used his phone to call someone named Ooh Bear, who he said would come and give us a ride to the museum. Mr. Guy had just said that bears didn't come into the city and he also said that bears are big and scary.  I wasn't sure why Mr. Scott F called one of them on his cellphone to come get us!  As it turned out, we were lucky.  The Ooh Bear that he called was not a real bear.  He was a man.  I wonder why his mom named him Ooh Bear. Oh well, the Ooh Bear man seemed very nice, though his car was a little small for all five of us. But, he got us to the Colorado Railroad Museum and that was what was important!

When we got there, I saw all of these big boxes and things I did not know about all around.   Mr Guy said that they are trains and that they once carried lots of people and lots of things all over the place. They are what we came to see.

I was very excited because the first thing we did at the museum was buy a new shirt for me!  Ms. Roz sold us my shirt and she agreed to be one of the people in my 100 people project.  She sells tickets and other things at the museum too.

We then headed downstairs. A model railroad club keeps their special train stuff there.  I wasn't really sure what I was going to see. And then...Wow!  They have a whole set up of small trains, just like Mr. Guy and The Mr. Scotts said there would be. I had never seen trains like these before. They were small but looked just like the big ones that were all over outside. Mr Guy told me that the big ones worked just like these little ones except that the little ones were for people who had to pretend with trains rather than work with the big real ones. He said these are the kind of trains that the Mr. Scotts have. Mr Scott G was looking carefully at all the details of the trains.

When we were done inside, we went outside where there were more train cars to see. Mr Guy showed me how some of the cars were for carrying people and some were carrying things. There were also special trains called engines.  The engine is was what makes the train cars full of people and things go. The person who drives the engine is called an engineer.  I pretended that I was the engineer!

There were so many cars to see that Mr Guy and the Mr Scotts just couldn't get pictures of all of them.  Mr Guy tried to take a picture of the two of us outside a caboose, but it didn't really work. He told me that the last car on a train was called a caboose and it was a place for the people who worked on the train to eat and sleep when they were on long trips.

Mr Guy also told me that when he was a little monster like me, his dad worked for the railroad. Mr. Guy's dad did not drive the trains.  He was a lawyer who worked with people who had been hurt while working for the railroad or who had had an accident with a train.  I don't think I would want to be one of those people!

Mr Guy shared that he too had worked on the railroad one summer. He fixed train tracks. Mr. Guy showed me how the train cars at the museum were sitting on metal rails. The rails then sit on a metal plate and that plate sits on a big piece of wood. Mr Guy said those big pieces of wood are called ties. I thought ties were something that you wore around your neck. I certainly wouldn’t want to wear one of those ties. They look heavy.  I bet they would choke me!  Mr Guy explained that they are called ties because they tie the rails together. Big nails, called spikes, hold the plate and the rail on the tie. The rails, ties, and plates are called tracks. Mr Guy told me to look at where the tracks ran off into the distance so I could see how they looked like a path for the train to follow.

The last thing we saw at the museum was called a garden railroad. This was sort of like the little trains inside, but the train was bigger and ran outside in a real garden with pretty plants and flowers.  Mr. Guy explained that trains come in all sizes, from tiny model ones all the way up to the great big real ones. He said there are even some that are little blue and orange monster sized like me! I asked him if we cold get one of those  He said we would not have a place for one that big.  That made me a little sad.  I thought it would be fun to be the engineer on my very own train.

After we had seen everything at the museum, Mr. Scott F called our friend Ooh Bear again to take us back to the visitor center.  The guy who came to get us this time was a different person and in a different car than the first Mr. Ooh Bear!  There are two mothers that named their children Ooh Bear???  I guess it is a Colorado thing. I need to remember to ask Mr Guy or The Lady about that.

After we got back to the visitor center, everyone wanted lunch before we loaded back in the not-so-magic green van, and then the train, and then the bus, and then walked back to the hotel.

Mr Guy told me he was sorry he did not get more pictures. I told him that was ok. I had lots of fun and was glad he and the Mr Scotts took me along. I think I had more fun with them than I would have had looking at string with the ladies.

I sure was a tired little monster when we got back to the hotel. I went right to bed and slept all night long.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

An Afternoon of Happy People!

We just got home from a weekend trip to Denver.  Before we even left Dallas, I knew it would be a good trip because I met all kinds of happy people in the airport!

Mr. Guy and The Lady wanted some holy donuts for a snack on the airplane.  I'm not exactly sure what makes a donut holy, but they went into a store and asked for holy donuts and the nice lady behind the counter filled a bag with them and gave it to Mr. Guy.  Then the cheerful lady behind the counter asked all about me.  Mr. Guy and The Lady told her about how we travel and meet new people and about my 100 People Project.  She said that sounded like fun and was happy to be #37 of my 100 People!

Ms. Lashanna shared her holy donuts and her smile with us.  What a great start to our trip!  I still don't understand the whole holy donut thing, but if they make everyone cheerful, I guess that's all I need to understand.

After we met Ms. Lashanna, we went to sit at our gate to wait for our airplane.  There we met more happy people!  Ms. Shelby was sitting across from us.  She asked what my name was.  Mr. Guy told her that I was his little blue and orange furry monster, Blueper B.  She said that she had a little monster too.  His name was Baby Ivan.  He didn't look like a monster to me. He was a cute little boy. Ms. Shelby told us that she liked to call him her little monster.  We talked to Ms. Shelby for a long time while she and Baby Ivan ate their lunch and we ate some of our donuts.  Even though Ms. Shelby had some sad things happening in her life, she was still cheerful and smiling.  That made me smile too!

Ms. Shelby said she and Baby Ivan would also love to have their picture taken with me!  I was excited about that, but Baby Ivan wasn't too sure that he wanted me to be that close to his mommy...or maybe it was that close to his chicken nugget.  I think he thought that I might try to eat his chicken nugget.  I wouldn't do that!  Most of the time Mr. Guy and The Lady feed me well.  I don't have to take food from sweet little babies!

There are lots of terrible things going on in the world and sometimes it is hard to smile.  We were lucky to meet all of these nice people.  There was also another lady sitting beside us while we were talking to Ms. Shelby.  That Lady had to leave her house in Florida because of Hurricane Irma, which was on its way close to her home. Her family wanted her way far away from Florida so that she would be safe.  Even though she was facing the unknown of this great big storm, this lady too was cheerful.  I didn't have time to have my picture taken with her.  I do keep thinking about her, hoping that her home is safe and that she is still smiling.

I will probably never see Ms. Lashanna, Ms. Shelby, Baby Ivan, or the nice lady that was sitting next to us ever again, but I will always remember the smiles and happy conversations that we shared for a few minutes in the airport on that day.  The world would be a much better place if everyone made a point to share smiles and kind words every day!

Monday, July 17, 2017

Play-ing in NYC

I bet you are wondering why I went to New York...

Offspring #2 and The Lady have a friend, Ms. Mandy, they said that she plays right in New York City and they wanted to go visit her.  That sounded fun.  I like to play.  When I asked The Lady where we were going to play  - at Ms. Mandy's apartment? a park? a pool? a beach? - she said it was not that kind of play.  Ms. Many writes the kind of plays that you see on stage at the theater.  She is a playwright; she doesn't play right.  Well, I bet she does play right, but that is not what was happening on this trip.  We were going to see the play From A to Double D that she wrote and Ms. Mandy was also acting in her play.  I like the theater so this plan was OK with me.

The title of Ms. Mandy's play sounded like it was a story about the dictionary, but only a little bit of the dictionary, since it only talked about the the first three letters and part of the fourth.  I thought about it and that makes sense.  That is job security for Ms. Mandy.  At this rate, she can write six sequels to her play before she gets all the way to the letters ZZ!  I did think that it was a little strange that she stopped with "DD."  I had to go look at the dictionary and see what words even started with two d's.  All the words that I found were either abbreviations or acronyms.  I didn't really understand Ms. Mandy's thinking on this one, but she is the professional playwright so I guess she knows what she is doing.  When I asked The Lady about this, she explained that the play was not about the dictionary, it was about bras.  Bras??  The Lady explained that little (boy) blue and orange furry monsters don't need to know or think about bras.  They are for grown-up ladies.  She showed me hers.  Boy was that a confusing contraption!!  It was even more strange than my vest!  Not only did it not have any sleeves, it didn't have much of a front or back either.  I can see why the grown-up ladies wear these weird things under their clothes.  They are funny looking!  The Lady said that grown-up ladies wear bras to keep their breasts in place.  Breasts?  Where is Mr. Guy when I need him?  I needed a boy to explain all this girl stuff to me! 

As it turned out, I learned a lot about bras and boobs breasts and girls while watching From A to Double D.  I don't think I understood everything, but I am pretty sure that I am glad that I only have to worry about my t-shirts and not trainers, underwires, and sports bras!  There are definite advantages to be a little blue and orange furry boy monster!  

I was happy to be at the play because The Lady, Offspring #2, and The Young Guy were very excited to be there.  Offspring #2 has been friends with Ms. Mandy for a long time, since when she was kind of a little girl and not famous, maybe since after the trainer time and before the double D time.  

And, Ms. Mandy was happy that they were there.  We had breakfast with her the next day.  She  agreed to have her picture taken with me!  Maybe some day we will both be really famous!

During the day before Ms. Mandy's play, The Young Guy, Offspring #2, and I walked around New York City.  Well...they all walked and The Lady carried me.  Mr. Guy does a little better carrying me. The Lady didn't do so well trying to hold me and her camera.  She didn't take very many pictures on this trip.

The first place that we walked was to the World Trade Center and 9/11 Memorial.  Offspring #2 and The Lady explained that sixteen years ago, two buildings called the twin towers, were hit by airplanes that had been taken over by people who did not like our country.  Lots and lots of people died and lots were hurt.  I was not born when this happened and Offspring #2 was only eight years old.  The Lady remembered it very well.  There is a memorial where these two towers stood.  It is a fountain and a reflecting pool with the names of all those who lost their lives on that day.

There were so many names on the memorial.  So many people died.  This made me very sad.

A new building has been built in the area.

It is called Freedom Tower and is the tallest building in the western hemisphere.

It hurts my heart to think about that day in 2001.  I wasn't even alive back then and seeing this memorial sends chills down my furry spine.  I can't even imagine what it must have been like for all the people who were right here in New York City or even those, like The Lady, Offspring #2, and Mr. Guy, who watched it all on television.  The people who's names I read on the memorial here and their families now have a place in my heart forever.

After we visited the 9/11 Memorial we walked some more and then decided to take the subway.  I have ridden the trains in Dallas, where I live, but they are above the ground.  In New York the trains go under the ground through tunnels.  The Lady told be that that is why they are called subways, because sub means below.  I should have figured that out by myself.

We bought our tickets and then walked through this gate that looked like we were going into a sideways jail.

The good thing was that the bars kept moving so it didn't feel like we were in jail!

Once we were inside the not-jail, I saw the tracks and watched for the train we needed.  Offspring #2 told me which one to look for.

We got on...rode for a few minutes in the off and walked up some stairs...and we were right where we wanted to be.  It sort of felt like magic.  I guess the same thing happens on the airplane, but since it is usually not dark in the sky when we fly, it doesn't feel so much like magic.

I wish we had more pictures from our trip. I thought that Offspring #2 and The Lady might be taking lots of pictures with their phones because they were in their hands all the time.  When I asked to see their pictures they said that there weren't many.  I was confused until they told me that they were using their phones so that we knew where to go.  The phones had a map on them and gave them walking directions.  I wondered how they always seemed to know where they were going!

We weren't in New York very long.  I wish we could have seen a little bit more of the city, but I was also glad to come home because I missed Mr. Guy.  Hopefully Ms. Mandy will do another play right and we will get to go see her and one of her plays again!

Friday, July 14, 2017

Orange You Glad To See Me In NYC!

This week was both fun and a little strange.  I went on an adventure.  And The Lady went on the adventure.  But, Mr. Guy did not go on this adventure with us.  We went to New York City.  Mr. Guy had important stuff to do here at home.  Plus, he said that he doesn't really like New York City.  That made me a little nervous.  I was afraid that I wouldn't like it either, but I decided to be a brave little blue and orange furry monster and go.  I hoped that The Lady, Offspring #2, and The Young Guy would take good care of me.

Mr. Guy always carried me in airports and I always sit on his lap on the airplanes.  It felt funny to sit on The Lady's lap, especially because we had kind of a bumpy ride to New York and I got a little scared.  It all worked out, though.  The Lady did OK but I hope that next time I fly somewhere that Mr. Guy goes too.

We landed in New York and had to take a taxi to our hotel.  

I have never ridden in a taxi before.  It was like the fancy black cars that have picked us up at airports before, the lemonzines, except that it wasn't fancy and wasn't black.  It was yellow.  That was all OK.  We crossed some bridges and went in a tunnel and passed lots of big buildings.  Then we got to our hotel.  The Young Guy picked the hotel and made the reservations.  It was called the Mobile Noble Den.  We have a den at our house, but it doesn't have a bed.  I thought maybe The Lady and I might have to sleep on a couch.  We don't have a bathroom in our at-home den either.  Maybe that's because it is just a den, not a noble den.  Hopefully the noble part means that it has a bed and a bathroom in addition to a couch.

The Lady and I shared a room and Offspring #2 and The Young Guy had another room.  The room that The Lady and I had was perfect for us.  It was all orange!!!  Everything was orange.  I didn't think The Young Guy knew me well enough to know that I love orange, but he did.  I still missed Mr. Guy, but the all orange room did make me happy.

Look at all of the orange!

Our bed was orange...

Our shower was orange...

I guess that you noticed that our den has both a bed and a bathroom.

Our telephone was orange...

Our sink had an orange stripe, though you can't see it in these pictures.  I think that you can in the one above.  Even without the orange, this was a cool sink!  It was sort of in the middle of our den, but that was OK.  It had a fancy light up mirror.  I had fun looking at my fur in this mirror.  I didn't even mind brushing it because I could watch for tangles so that I would not pull my fur and hurt my little monster body.

Eben "my office" was orange.  I sat here and made notes about all of the things that I wanted to tell you about.

Can you see my orange chair?

This is the view from my window.  We were staying right between Chinatown and Little Italy, whatever that means.

I really did miss Mr. Guy on this trip, but I have to admit that it was nice to have an entire half of the bed to myself rather than being squished between Mr. Guy and The Lady.

Speaking of having lots of room in the that I am home, I have my own bed back and I am very tired tonight.  Tomorrow I will tell you all about what we saw in New York.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Bond's Eye

Last Saturday we were supposed to go to the Farmer's Market in our city, but we couldn't go because it was raining.  I thought we might go yesterday; however, we couldn't go then either because Mr. Guy and The Lady had something else to do.  They were going to a Bond's Eye class.  They said that I could go with them if I wanted to.   I wasn't sure that I wanted to, but I decided that I wanted to spend some time with them, so I said I'd go.

I had no idea why Mr. Guy and The Lady wanted to go to a class on learning how to see like a special agent, to learn to use their eyes as a spy like James Bond.  I didn't even know they liked James Bond.  This little blue and orange furry monster knew almost nothing about Bond, or secret agents, or spies, or how to see like a spy.  I figured this would be a chance for me to learn something new.  They might teach me how to break codes and hunt down criminals and even how to drive a fancy car.  OK, maybe not drive the fancy car...but ride in it as the co-pilot.

Mr. Guy got me dressed to go.  He put on my brown "Dirt Shirt" that Ms. Michele gave me when I was in Delaware.  That sort of made sense.  A blue and orange furry spy might stick out in a crowd.  I was hoping I'd get a cool trench coat and hat, but my brown shirt was good for a beginner secret agent.  

We drove about twenty minutes to the place where the class was being taught.  It was down a gravel drive in a building hidden behind lots of trees and shrubs.  The building had sort of a secret look to it, but there were no fancy cars anywhere, well fancy spy cars.  There were fancy Dallas cars.  I guess that's how they keep the secret agent training center really a secret.  It just looked like an old house.  Now I was getting excited.

We walked into the Bond's Eye place.  It was a little weird.  The people didn't have on secret agent hats and coats and sunglasses; they looked like hippies in their overalls, t-shirts, jeans, and gypsy shirts.  Don't tell them I said this, but Mr. Guy and The Lady fit right in with this crowd.  I looked around for books about being a spy and magnifying glasses and anything else that reminded me of James Bond.  There was nothing.  This whole secret agent school had nothing but plants everywhere.  Most of them were little, but there were some bigger ones too.  I thought to myself that maybe we were going to develop our Bond's eye skills by first looking for bugs on plants or something like that.  Surely if I could spy a tiny bug on a tiny plant I could track down a big bad guy or girl.

Mr. Guy and The Lady wandered around looking at all of the plants.  They didn't say anything about looking for bugs.  They were talking about things like organic dirt and water culture and fertilizer and apexes and old wood and aesthetic balance.  I know I don't know much about being a secret agent, but even with the little information I did have, I was now pretty sure we were talking about different things.

I finally asked when the real Bond's eye class was going to start.  Where was all of the secret agent stuff?  Why were we in a place surrounded by happy hippies and plants rather than secret agents in trench coats?

I quickly learned that I was completely confused about the whole experience.  It was not a Bond's Eye class; it was a bonsai class.  Bonsai is a Japanese art form using miniature trees grown in containers.  The trees and the practice of caring for them is a process of meditation and contemplation for their owner.  Bonsai trees don't provide shade or food or medicine; they are just to look it.  They make you happy.  Once I understood that, it all made sense that Mr. Guy and The Lady would want to come here.  They like plants.  In fact they already had a couple bonsai trees.  )I didn't know until yesterday that that is what they are called.)  

So as it turned out, I learned how to take care of these little trees rather than how to be a secret agent. I didn't get to ride in a fancy car, but I did get to pick out a bonsai tree.  Mr. Guy and I decided to get a ponytail palm.  Mr. Guy said that The Captain had one in Delaware and that he had hoped we could bring it back to Texas, but that didn't happen.  So, we got our own.  And as it turned out, my dirt shirt was the perfect thing to wear!

I never know what to expect with Mr. Guy and The Lady!  There's always an adventure.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

My Third B-Day

We have been celebrating my b-day for the past few days.  My b-day, June 29th, is really my "bring home day" but we also call it my birthday even though I don't think it is the day I was actually born.  Since Mr. Guy and The Lady adopted me instead of hatching me like the human offspring, we just wrapped my birthday and bringing home day into one great big celebration.  That's why it lasts more than one day.

I have lived with Mr. Guy and The Lady for three years.  That seems like a long time.  We have had lots of adventures together.  They asked me what kind of adventure I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't really think of anything special.  Mr. Guy and The Lady suggested that it might be fun for us to go to our city's farmers market on Saturday morning.  That sounded fun.  And then it rained and we couldn't go.  I was not too sad about that because they said that the farmers market happens every Saturday so we can go on another day.

My Saturday turned out to be great anyway.  Do you want to know why?  Because I got a letter!

The mailman usually just brings us his trash.  He puts his trash in the fancy trash box on the curb and then The Lady or Mr. Guy puts it in the big blue trash recycling box and takes it back to the curb.  I don't know how you get a job driving around all day putting your trash in other people's trash boxes and then they have to put it out for the real trash man to come and put it in the great big trash collecting truck.  And they pay you to do this!  

And how did my letter get mixed up with the mailman's trash?

I guess I'm glad that Mr. Guy looks carefully at the mailman's trash before it puts it in the other trash can.  But this also kind of worries me.  If Mr. Guy likes looking through other people's trash every day, he might want to start dumpster diving.  This would make him smell really bad!  I have smelled those dumpsters!  I'm not going to worry about that right now.  Let's get back to happier...and better smelling...things.  My letter!

My friend, Ms. Joni sent me a letter.  Mr. Guy helped me read it.

It was a letter saying happy b-day to me!  I love Ms. Joni!  She always thinks of other people and does nice things for me. And, we have fun together.  It makes me sad that she doesn't live closer to us, but she told me in my letter that she will see me in September.  We are all going to Denver for a meeting of the people with white fur like The Lady and Ms. Joni have.  That is something for this little monster to look forward to!

The Lady also made a special b-day treat for me.  She made blue berry muffins and got me fizzy orange stuff to drink.  It was a perfect blue and orange meal!

For some reason, The Lady lit my muffins on fire.  I thought they were already cooked when she gave them to me.  This was a little confusing, but then I remembered that on your b-day you get one fire stick for each year that you have been alive.  Then you make a wish and use your breath as a fire extinguisher.  If your fire extinguisher works right and you extinguish all of the fire sticks at once, then your wish will come true.  My extinguisher worked, but supposedly if I tell you my wish then it won't come true.  Remembering all of these b-day rules is a lot for this little blue and orange furry monster.

It was perfect that I got three muffins, one for each of my three years.  I had one for me.  One for Mr. Guy.  And, one for The Lady.  Next year I will get four.  Maybe Ms. Joni can come visit me for my b-day and she can have my number four muffin!

After I ate my treat, I got a present from Mr. Guy and The Lady.

It was blue and orange just like me!

Inside the blue and orange was... shirts!

This is one of them.

I guess they got me this one to remind me to help get the trash out of our fancy little trash box on the curb and put it in the big blue trash box.  Okay.  I can do that.  Then I looked at the back of my new shirt.

Keep the trash green?  Maybe this is a shirt that a mailman wears.  He keeps his truck clean by putting his trash in everyone else's boxes and then someone gives him money...which is green.  It's kind of like keeping your room clean and getting an allowance only instead of hiding all of your trash under your bed, you take it to other people's houses.  When I asked The Lady and Mr. Guy if they wanted me to become a mailman, they looked at me funny, like they didn't know what I was talking about.  When I explained why I asked that, they laughed at a nice way.  They said that my new shirt had nothing to do with becoming a mailman.  It was to help remind everyone to keep our earth clean so that all of the plants will stay green and people and little monsters will stay healthy.  I was relieved.  That sounds like a lot more fun than rearranging trash.

I also got another new shirt, but I am not going to show it to you yet.  I want it to be a surprise when I wear it, maybe someplace special.

I had a very happy b-day thanks to lots of people that love me! 

 I hope all of you have a happy day too, even if it's not your b-day.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Summertime and The Understanding Isn't Easy!

Apparently today is the first day of summer, which confuses me a lot.  Back in May, May 12th to be exact, The Lady told me that she was officially on summer vacation.  To me that meant it must be summertime.  But if today is the first day of summer then obviously it was not summertime on May 12th.  Today, when The Lady was trying to explain all of this to me, she said that it was actually still spring back in May.  Oh!  So it was really spring vacation that started back in May.  She said, "No.  Not really.  Spring vacation was the week I had off in March."  So I asked her when spring started.  She told me that the first day of spring was March 20th.  Hmm...looking back, she had her week off March 13-19.  That was before March 20th.  It wasn't spring then; that was still winter.  Shouldn't that have been called winter vacation?  Again she said, "No.  Winter vacation was in December and January, around Christmas."  I was just getting more and more confused.  I had to ask The Lady when winter actually started.  She said that the first day of winter was December 21st.  I think that her first day of vacation was before then, but this is all too much for this little blue and orange furry monster to get straight.  Maybe from May 12th until today The Lady was just practicing for summer vacation.  All I really know is that everyone says that today is the first day of summer.  I am going to believe them.  You would think that as many falls, winters, springs, and summers that The Lady has seen and for as many years as she went to school, she would know exactly what season to call her vacations by now!  Apparently not.

The first day of summer is a special day because it is the day that we have the most sunlight and the least dark.  That means that there is more time today that people and little monsters can get sunburned.  The Lady has to be very careful that the sun doesn't burn her skin.  If it does, she turns pink, or maybe red depending how long the sun cooks her.  I've never seen her turn pink or red, but she told me that it has happened before.  She doesn't stay outside in the sun very long and when she is outside, she wears a hat and sunglasses and shirts with long sleeves.  Or sometimes, she puts this white icing stuff all over her.  She says that this is to keep the sun from baking her and turning her pink.  It seems strange that you would put icing on something someone before they are baked.  I will trust her on this, but not on the vacation names! 

Mr. Guy and The Lady got me a hat and sunglasses so that my monster head and eyes don't get cooked by the sun.  I certainly don't want my horns to get baked!  They might turn brown or black.  That's what happens to stuff that The Lady bakes in the oven too long.  I don't know if The Lady has any icing to keep my horns from turning icky colors.  I think I'd rather wear the hat.

My shirts have short sleeves.  The Lady said that she thought that all of my blue and orange fur would keep the sun from baking my arms.  I hope so because if the sun cooks me like it does The Lady, my fur will turn purple!  The Lady is white.  The sun makes her red.  Red and white mixed together make pink.  I'm blue (with some orange).  If the sun makes some of me red, blue and red mixed together make purple.  My orange would just turn a different color of orange, I think, maybe like the crayon color that is called red-orange.  I would become a furry little purple and red-orange monster.  I wouldn't like that.  I like being blue!  I really don't want to turn purple.  And I don't want to use The Lady's white icing stuff to keep me from turning purple.  Iced blue fur just sounds very yucky!  I think that I will just not go outside too much during the time when the sun might cook me.  That solves all of my problems, and The Lady's too.

Oh...Mr. Guy used to teach Spanish and he teaches me how to speak Spanish because where I live here in Texas, lots of people speak Spanish.  I want to be able to talk with the people I meet.  I think it's cool to be able to speak in two languages!  I like my new shirt that says hello in Spanish.  The Lady doesn't speak Spanish very well (but she does know the word hola).  She speaks French pretty well, though; Mr. Guy and I don't know French at all.  If I learn more Spanish with Mr. Guy, we can talk about all of the brown and black stuff that The Lady makes by cooking things too long in the oven and then tries to hide it with some kind of icing stuff.  Since she can't understand Mr. Guy and me when we talk in Spanish, we won't hurt her feelings when we say it doesn't look or taste good.

Happy real first day of summer!

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Pun Times!

What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny. 

Mr. guy is an energizer punny.  That means that he likes to say silly things by using words in funny ways.  I think that this is why I have a hard time using the right words sometimes.  

A pun is a joke made by a play on words.  I can think of a lot better things to play with than words, but apparently Mr. Guy likes to play with words.  He doesn't like Lego or Tinker Toys.  He would rather build things with letters and words.  Words are just too confusing for me.  

Since today was Fathers Day and Mr. Guy is my dad, I let him read to me and tell me his silly puns.  Just between you and me, this little blue and orange furry monster does not understand all of these jokes, but I laughed to make Mr. Guy feel good.  That was my Fathers Day gift to him.

In case you want top know what I am talking about, here are some of his puns:

• Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
• She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
• The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
• I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
• I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
• The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.
• A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe.
• I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill. 
• What did one plant say to another? What's stomata?
• The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
• A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
• The politician is not one for Indian food. But he's good at currying favors.
• How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
• A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat
• When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.
• After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.
• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!
• Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
• Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
• Guerrilla warfare is more than just throwing a banana.
• The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cell.
• I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
• Every calendar's days are numbered.
• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.
• Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
• A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
• Dockyard: A physician's garden.
• I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
• Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
• The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

I hope you smiled at least a little.

Happy Fathers Day to all of you guys out there!