Pun Times!

What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny. 

Mr. guy is an energizer punny.  That means that he likes to say silly things by using words in funny ways.  I think that this is why I have a hard time using the right words sometimes.  

A pun is a joke made by a play on words.  I can think of a lot better things to play with than words, but apparently Mr. Guy likes to play with words.  He doesn't like Lego or Tinker Toys.  He would rather build things with letters and words.  Words are just too confusing for me.  

Since today was Fathers Day and Mr. Guy is my dad, I let him read to me and tell me his silly puns.  Just between you and me, this little blue and orange furry monster does not understand all of these jokes, but I laughed to make Mr. Guy feel good.  That was my Fathers Day gift to him.

In case you want top know what I am talking about, here are some of his puns:

• Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.

• She had a photographic memory but never developed it.

• The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.

• I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

• I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.

• The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.

• A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe.

• I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill. 

• What did one plant say to another? What's stomata?

• The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

• A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.

• The politician is not one for Indian food. But he's good at currying favors.

• How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

• A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat

• When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.

• After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.

• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

• Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.

• Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.

• Guerrilla warfare is more than just throwing a banana.

• The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cell.

• I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.

• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress

• Every calendar's days are numbered.

• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

• No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

• If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.

• Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!

• A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

• Dockyard: A physician's garden.

• I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

• Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

• The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

I hope you smiled at least a little.

Happy Fathers Day to all of you guys out there!