Monday, July 17, 2017

Play-ing in NYC

I bet you are wondering why I went to New York...

Offspring #2 and The Lady have a friend, Ms. Mandy, they said that she plays right in New York City and they wanted to go visit her.  That sounded fun.  I like to play.  When I asked The Lady where we were going to play  - at Ms. Mandy's apartment? a park? a pool? a beach? - she said it was not that kind of play.  Ms. Many writes the kind of plays that you see on stage at the theater.  She is a playwright; she doesn't play right.  Well, I bet she does play right, but that is not what was happening on this trip.  We were going to see the play From A to Double D that she wrote and Ms. Mandy was also acting in her play.  I like the theater so this plan was OK with me.

The title of Ms. Mandy's play sounded like it was a story about the dictionary, but only a little bit of the dictionary, since it only talked about the the first three letters and part of the fourth.  I thought about it and that makes sense.  That is job security for Ms. Mandy.  At this rate, she can write six sequels to her play before she gets all the way to the letters ZZ!  I did think that it was a little strange that she stopped with "DD."  I had to go look at the dictionary and see what words even started with two d's.  All the words that I found were either abbreviations or acronyms.  I didn't really understand Ms. Mandy's thinking on this one, but she is the professional playwright so I guess she knows what she is doing.  When I asked The Lady about this, she explained that the play was not about the dictionary, it was about bras.  Bras??  The Lady explained that little (boy) blue and orange furry monsters don't need to know or think about bras.  They are for grown-up ladies.  She showed me hers.  Boy was that a confusing contraption!!  It was even more strange than my vest!  Not only did it not have any sleeves, it didn't have much of a front or back either.  I can see why the grown-up ladies wear these weird things under their clothes.  They are funny looking!  The Lady said that grown-up ladies wear bras to keep their breasts in place.  Breasts?  Where is Mr. Guy when I need him?  I needed a boy to explain all this girl stuff to me! 

As it turned out, I learned a lot about bras and boobs breasts and girls while watching From A to Double D.  I don't think I understood everything, but I am pretty sure that I am glad that I only have to worry about my t-shirts and not trainers, underwires, and sports bras!  There are definite advantages to be a little blue and orange furry boy monster!  

I was happy to be at the play because The Lady, Offspring #2, and The Young Guy were very excited to be there.  Offspring #2 has been friends with Ms. Mandy for a long time, since when she was kind of a little girl and not famous, maybe since after the trainer time and before the double D time.  

And, Ms. Mandy was happy that they were there.  We had breakfast with her the next day.  She  agreed to have her picture taken with me!  Maybe some day we will both be really famous!

During the day before Ms. Mandy's play, The Young Guy, Offspring #2, and I walked around New York City.  Well...they all walked and The Lady carried me.  Mr. Guy does a little better carrying me. The Lady didn't do so well trying to hold me and her camera.  She didn't take very many pictures on this trip.

The first place that we walked was to the World Trade Center and 9/11 Memorial.  Offspring #2 and The Lady explained that sixteen years ago, two buildings called the twin towers, were hit by airplanes that had been taken over by people who did not like our country.  Lots and lots of people died and lots were hurt.  I was not born when this happened and Offspring #2 was only eight years old.  The Lady remembered it very well.  There is a memorial where these two towers stood.  It is a fountain and a reflecting pool with the names of all those who lost their lives on that day.

There were so many names on the memorial.  So many people died.  This made me very sad.

A new building has been built in the area.

It is called Freedom Tower and is the tallest building in the western hemisphere.

It hurts my heart to think about that day in 2001.  I wasn't even alive back then and seeing this memorial sends chills down my furry spine.  I can't even imagine what it must have been like for all the people who were right here in New York City or even those, like The Lady, Offspring #2, and Mr. Guy, who watched it all on television.  The people who's names I read on the memorial here and their families now have a place in my heart forever.

After we visited the 9/11 Memorial we walked some more and then decided to take the subway.  I have ridden the trains in Dallas, where I live, but they are above the ground.  In New York the trains go under the ground through tunnels.  The Lady told be that that is why they are called subways, because sub means below.  I should have figured that out by myself.

We bought our tickets and then walked through this gate that looked like we were going into a sideways jail.

The good thing was that the bars kept moving so it didn't feel like we were in jail!

Once we were inside the not-jail, I saw the tracks and watched for the train we needed.  Offspring #2 told me which one to look for.

We got on...rode for a few minutes in the off and walked up some stairs...and we were right where we wanted to be.  It sort of felt like magic.  I guess the same thing happens on the airplane, but since it is usually not dark in the sky when we fly, it doesn't feel so much like magic.

I wish we had more pictures from our trip. I thought that Offspring #2 and The Lady might be taking lots of pictures with their phones because they were in their hands all the time.  When I asked to see their pictures they said that there weren't many.  I was confused until they told me that they were using their phones so that we knew where to go.  The phones had a map on them and gave them walking directions.  I wondered how they always seemed to know where they were going!

We weren't in New York very long.  I wish we could have seen a little bit more of the city, but I was also glad to come home because I missed Mr. Guy.  Hopefully Ms. Mandy will do another play right and we will get to go see her and one of her plays again!

Friday, July 14, 2017

Orange You Glad To See Me In NYC!

This week was both fun and a little strange.  I went on an adventure.  And The Lady went on the adventure.  But, Mr. Guy did not go on this adventure with us.  We went to New York City.  Mr. Guy had important stuff to do here at home.  Plus, he said that he doesn't really like New York City.  That made me a little nervous.  I was afraid that I wouldn't like it either, but I decided to be a brave little blue and orange furry monster and go.  I hoped that The Lady, Offspring #2, and The Young Guy would take good care of me.

Mr. Guy always carried me in airports and I always sit on his lap on the airplanes.  It felt funny to sit on The Lady's lap, especially because we had kind of a bumpy ride to New York and I got a little scared.  It all worked out, though.  The Lady did OK but I hope that next time I fly somewhere that Mr. Guy goes too.

We landed in New York and had to take a taxi to our hotel.  

I have never ridden in a taxi before.  It was like the fancy black cars that have picked us up at airports before, the lemonzines, except that it wasn't fancy and wasn't black.  It was yellow.  That was all OK.  We crossed some bridges and went in a tunnel and passed lots of big buildings.  Then we got to our hotel.  The Young Guy picked the hotel and made the reservations.  It was called the Mobile Noble Den.  We have a den at our house, but it doesn't have a bed.  I thought maybe The Lady and I might have to sleep on a couch.  We don't have a bathroom in our at-home den either.  Maybe that's because it is just a den, not a noble den.  Hopefully the noble part means that it has a bed and a bathroom in addition to a couch.

The Lady and I shared a room and Offspring #2 and The Young Guy had another room.  The room that The Lady and I had was perfect for us.  It was all orange!!!  Everything was orange.  I didn't think The Young Guy knew me well enough to know that I love orange, but he did.  I still missed Mr. Guy, but the all orange room did make me happy.

Look at all of the orange!

Our bed was orange...

Our shower was orange...

I guess that you noticed that our den has both a bed and a bathroom.

Our telephone was orange...

Our sink had an orange stripe, though you can't see it in these pictures.  I think that you can in the one above.  Even without the orange, this was a cool sink!  It was sort of in the middle of our den, but that was OK.  It had a fancy light up mirror.  I had fun looking at my fur in this mirror.  I didn't even mind brushing it because I could watch for tangles so that I would not pull my fur and hurt my little monster body.

Eben "my office" was orange.  I sat here and made notes about all of the things that I wanted to tell you about.

Can you see my orange chair?

This is the view from my window.  We were staying right between Chinatown and Little Italy, whatever that means.

I really did miss Mr. Guy on this trip, but I have to admit that it was nice to have an entire half of the bed to myself rather than being squished between Mr. Guy and The Lady.

Speaking of having lots of room in the that I am home, I have my own bed back and I am very tired tonight.  Tomorrow I will tell you all about what we saw in New York.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Bond's Eye

Last Saturday we were supposed to go to the Farmer's Market in our city, but we couldn't go because it was raining.  I thought we might go yesterday; however, we couldn't go then either because Mr. Guy and The Lady had something else to do.  They were going to a Bond's Eye class.  They said that I could go with them if I wanted to.   I wasn't sure that I wanted to, but I decided that I wanted to spend some time with them, so I said I'd go.

I had no idea why Mr. Guy and The Lady wanted to go to a class on learning how to see like a special agent, to learn to use their eyes as a spy like James Bond.  I didn't even know they liked James Bond.  This little blue and orange furry monster knew almost nothing about Bond, or secret agents, or spies, or how to see like a spy.  I figured this would be a chance for me to learn something new.  They might teach me how to break codes and hunt down criminals and even how to drive a fancy car.  OK, maybe not drive the fancy car...but ride in it as the co-pilot.

Mr. Guy got me dressed to go.  He put on my brown "Dirt Shirt" that Ms. Michele gave me when I was in Delaware.  That sort of made sense.  A blue and orange furry spy might stick out in a crowd.  I was hoping I'd get a cool trench coat and hat, but my brown shirt was good for a beginner secret agent.  

We drove about twenty minutes to the place where the class was being taught.  It was down a gravel drive in a building hidden behind lots of trees and shrubs.  The building had sort of a secret look to it, but there were no fancy cars anywhere, well fancy spy cars.  There were fancy Dallas cars.  I guess that's how they keep the secret agent training center really a secret.  It just looked like an old house.  Now I was getting excited.

We walked into the Bond's Eye place.  It was a little weird.  The people didn't have on secret agent hats and coats and sunglasses; they looked like hippies in their overalls, t-shirts, jeans, and gypsy shirts.  Don't tell them I said this, but Mr. Guy and The Lady fit right in with this crowd.  I looked around for books about being a spy and magnifying glasses and anything else that reminded me of James Bond.  There was nothing.  This whole secret agent school had nothing but plants everywhere.  Most of them were little, but there were some bigger ones too.  I thought to myself that maybe we were going to develop our Bond's eye skills by first looking for bugs on plants or something like that.  Surely if I could spy a tiny bug on a tiny plant I could track down a big bad guy or girl.

Mr. Guy and The Lady wandered around looking at all of the plants.  They didn't say anything about looking for bugs.  They were talking about things like organic dirt and water culture and fertilizer and apexes and old wood and aesthetic balance.  I know I don't know much about being a secret agent, but even with the little information I did have, I was now pretty sure we were talking about different things.

I finally asked when the real Bond's eye class was going to start.  Where was all of the secret agent stuff?  Why were we in a place surrounded by happy hippies and plants rather than secret agents in trench coats?

I quickly learned that I was completely confused about the whole experience.  It was not a Bond's Eye class; it was a bonsai class.  Bonsai is a Japanese art form using miniature trees grown in containers.  The trees and the practice of caring for them is a process of meditation and contemplation for their owner.  Bonsai trees don't provide shade or food or medicine; they are just to look it.  They make you happy.  Once I understood that, it all made sense that Mr. Guy and The Lady would want to come here.  They like plants.  In fact they already had a couple bonsai trees.  )I didn't know until yesterday that that is what they are called.)  

So as it turned out, I learned how to take care of these little trees rather than how to be a secret agent. I didn't get to ride in a fancy car, but I did get to pick out a bonsai tree.  Mr. Guy and I decided to get a ponytail palm.  Mr. Guy said that The Captain had one in Delaware and that he had hoped we could bring it back to Texas, but that didn't happen.  So, we got our own.  And as it turned out, my dirt shirt was the perfect thing to wear!

I never know what to expect with Mr. Guy and The Lady!  There's always an adventure.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

My Third B-Day

We have been celebrating my b-day for the past few days.  My b-day, June 29th, is really my "bring home day" but we also call it my birthday even though I don't think it is the day I was actually born.  Since Mr. Guy and The Lady adopted me instead of hatching me like the human offspring, we just wrapped my birthday and bringing home day into one great big celebration.  That's why it lasts more than one day.

I have lived with Mr. Guy and The Lady for three years.  That seems like a long time.  We have had lots of adventures together.  They asked me what kind of adventure I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't really think of anything special.  Mr. Guy and The Lady suggested that it might be fun for us to go to our city's farmers market on Saturday morning.  That sounded fun.  And then it rained and we couldn't go.  I was not too sad about that because they said that the farmers market happens every Saturday so we can go on another day.

My Saturday turned out to be great anyway.  Do you want to know why?  Because I got a letter!

The mailman usually just brings us his trash.  He puts his trash in the fancy trash box on the curb and then The Lady or Mr. Guy puts it in the big blue trash recycling box and takes it back to the curb.  I don't know how you get a job driving around all day putting your trash in other people's trash boxes and then they have to put it out for the real trash man to come and put it in the great big trash collecting truck.  And they pay you to do this!  

And how did my letter get mixed up with the mailman's trash?

I guess I'm glad that Mr. Guy looks carefully at the mailman's trash before it puts it in the other trash can.  But this also kind of worries me.  If Mr. Guy likes looking through other people's trash every day, he might want to start dumpster diving.  This would make him smell really bad!  I have smelled those dumpsters!  I'm not going to worry about that right now.  Let's get back to happier...and better smelling...things.  My letter!

My friend, Ms. Joni sent me a letter.  Mr. Guy helped me read it.

It was a letter saying happy b-day to me!  I love Ms. Joni!  She always thinks of other people and does nice things for me. And, we have fun together.  It makes me sad that she doesn't live closer to us, but she told me in my letter that she will see me in September.  We are all going to Denver for a meeting of the people with white fur like The Lady and Ms. Joni have.  That is something for this little monster to look forward to!

The Lady also made a special b-day treat for me.  She made blue berry muffins and got me fizzy orange stuff to drink.  It was a perfect blue and orange meal!

For some reason, The Lady lit my muffins on fire.  I thought they were already cooked when she gave them to me.  This was a little confusing, but then I remembered that on your b-day you get one fire stick for each year that you have been alive.  Then you make a wish and use your breath as a fire extinguisher.  If your fire extinguisher works right and you extinguish all of the fire sticks at once, then your wish will come true.  My extinguisher worked, but supposedly if I tell you my wish then it won't come true.  Remembering all of these b-day rules is a lot for this little blue and orange furry monster.

It was perfect that I got three muffins, one for each of my three years.  I had one for me.  One for Mr. Guy.  And, one for The Lady.  Next year I will get four.  Maybe Ms. Joni can come visit me for my b-day and she can have my number four muffin!

After I ate my treat, I got a present from Mr. Guy and The Lady.

It was blue and orange just like me!

Inside the blue and orange was... shirts!

This is one of them.

I guess they got me this one to remind me to help get the trash out of our fancy little trash box on the curb and put it in the big blue trash box.  Okay.  I can do that.  Then I looked at the back of my new shirt.

Keep the trash green?  Maybe this is a shirt that a mailman wears.  He keeps his truck clean by putting his trash in everyone else's boxes and then someone gives him money...which is green.  It's kind of like keeping your room clean and getting an allowance only instead of hiding all of your trash under your bed, you take it to other people's houses.  When I asked The Lady and Mr. Guy if they wanted me to become a mailman, they looked at me funny, like they didn't know what I was talking about.  When I explained why I asked that, they laughed at a nice way.  They said that my new shirt had nothing to do with becoming a mailman.  It was to help remind everyone to keep our earth clean so that all of the plants will stay green and people and little monsters will stay healthy.  I was relieved.  That sounds like a lot more fun than rearranging trash.

I also got another new shirt, but I am not going to show it to you yet.  I want it to be a surprise when I wear it, maybe someplace special.

I had a very happy b-day thanks to lots of people that love me! 

 I hope all of you have a happy day too, even if it's not your b-day.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Summertime and The Understanding Isn't Easy!

Apparently today is the first day of summer, which confuses me a lot.  Back in May, May 12th to be exact, The Lady told me that she was officially on summer vacation.  To me that meant it must be summertime.  But if today is the first day of summer then obviously it was not summertime on May 12th.  Today, when The Lady was trying to explain all of this to me, she said that it was actually still spring back in May.  Oh!  So it was really spring vacation that started back in May.  She said, "No.  Not really.  Spring vacation was the week I had off in March."  So I asked her when spring started.  She told me that the first day of spring was March 20th.  Hmm...looking back, she had her week off March 13-19.  That was before March 20th.  It wasn't spring then; that was still winter.  Shouldn't that have been called winter vacation?  Again she said, "No.  Winter vacation was in December and January, around Christmas."  I was just getting more and more confused.  I had to ask The Lady when winter actually started.  She said that the first day of winter was December 21st.  I think that her first day of vacation was before then, but this is all too much for this little blue and orange furry monster to get straight.  Maybe from May 12th until today The Lady was just practicing for summer vacation.  All I really know is that everyone says that today is the first day of summer.  I am going to believe them.  You would think that as many falls, winters, springs, and summers that The Lady has seen and for as many years as she went to school, she would know exactly what season to call her vacations by now!  Apparently not.

The first day of summer is a special day because it is the day that we have the most sunlight and the least dark.  That means that there is more time today that people and little monsters can get sunburned.  The Lady has to be very careful that the sun doesn't burn her skin.  If it does, she turns pink, or maybe red depending how long the sun cooks her.  I've never seen her turn pink or red, but she told me that it has happened before.  She doesn't stay outside in the sun very long and when she is outside, she wears a hat and sunglasses and shirts with long sleeves.  Or sometimes, she puts this white icing stuff all over her.  She says that this is to keep the sun from baking her and turning her pink.  It seems strange that you would put icing on something someone before they are baked.  I will trust her on this, but not on the vacation names! 

Mr. Guy and The Lady got me a hat and sunglasses so that my monster head and eyes don't get cooked by the sun.  I certainly don't want my horns to get baked!  They might turn brown or black.  That's what happens to stuff that The Lady bakes in the oven too long.  I don't know if The Lady has any icing to keep my horns from turning icky colors.  I think I'd rather wear the hat.

My shirts have short sleeves.  The Lady said that she thought that all of my blue and orange fur would keep the sun from baking my arms.  I hope so because if the sun cooks me like it does The Lady, my fur will turn purple!  The Lady is white.  The sun makes her red.  Red and white mixed together make pink.  I'm blue (with some orange).  If the sun makes some of me red, blue and red mixed together make purple.  My orange would just turn a different color of orange, I think, maybe like the crayon color that is called red-orange.  I would become a furry little purple and red-orange monster.  I wouldn't like that.  I like being blue!  I really don't want to turn purple.  And I don't want to use The Lady's white icing stuff to keep me from turning purple.  Iced blue fur just sounds very yucky!  I think that I will just not go outside too much during the time when the sun might cook me.  That solves all of my problems, and The Lady's too.

Oh...Mr. Guy used to teach Spanish and he teaches me how to speak Spanish because where I live here in Texas, lots of people speak Spanish.  I want to be able to talk with the people I meet.  I think it's cool to be able to speak in two languages!  I like my new shirt that says hello in Spanish.  The Lady doesn't speak Spanish very well (but she does know the word hola).  She speaks French pretty well, though; Mr. Guy and I don't know French at all.  If I learn more Spanish with Mr. Guy, we can talk about all of the brown and black stuff that The Lady makes by cooking things too long in the oven and then tries to hide it with some kind of icing stuff.  Since she can't understand Mr. Guy and me when we talk in Spanish, we won't hurt her feelings when we say it doesn't look or taste good.

Happy real first day of summer!

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Pun Times!

What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny. 

Mr. guy is an energizer punny.  That means that he likes to say silly things by using words in funny ways.  I think that this is why I have a hard time using the right words sometimes.  

A pun is a joke made by a play on words.  I can think of a lot better things to play with than words, but apparently Mr. Guy likes to play with words.  He doesn't like Lego or Tinker Toys.  He would rather build things with letters and words.  Words are just too confusing for me.  

Since today was Fathers Day and Mr. Guy is my dad, I let him read to me and tell me his silly puns.  Just between you and me, this little blue and orange furry monster does not understand all of these jokes, but I laughed to make Mr. Guy feel good.  That was my Fathers Day gift to him.

In case you want top know what I am talking about, here are some of his puns:

• Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
• She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
• The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
• I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
• I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
• The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.
• A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe.
• I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill. 
• What did one plant say to another? What's stomata?
• The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
• A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
• The politician is not one for Indian food. But he's good at currying favors.
• How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
• A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat
• When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.
• After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.
• Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!
• Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
• Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
• Guerrilla warfare is more than just throwing a banana.
• The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cell.
• I thought Santa was going to be late, but he arrived in the Nick of time.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
• Every calendar's days are numbered.
• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.
• Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
• A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
• Dockyard: A physician's garden.
• I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
• Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
• The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

I hope you smiled at least a little.

Happy Fathers Day to all of you guys out there!

Friday, June 16, 2017

Maker, Fixer, and Friend

I am working hard on my 100 People Project!

Mr. Paul came to our house today.  Actually, Mr. Paul comes to our house lots of days.  He makes stuff and fixes all the stuff that Mr. Guy and The Lady break.

Mr. Guy and The Lady have known Mr. Paul longer than they have known me!  Mr. Paul remodeled their house before they knew they were going have a little blue and orange furry monster.  He tore down walls and built new ones.  The Lady said that this was a good thing because some of the walls were kind of ugly pink.  I'm happy that Mr. Paul got rid of them and made blue walls for us!  He also made our kitchen.  Mr. Paul also built all of our cabinets.  He made showers and closets and tile floors and new lights.  And, he is the one who built all of the shelves in our new library.  I think that Mr. Paul can build anything!

He can also fix almost anything.  Today Mr. Paul came to our house because he fixed a wall hanging that The Lady knocked off the wall and broke.  If I had done that, I probably would have gotten in trouble!  Now I know that Mr. Paul's phone number is on our white board.  If I break anything, I will call him and I bet he can fix it before The Lady even notices that it is broken.  Mr. Paul also hangs all of the pictures on the wall for The Lady.  He does a much better job than she does.  Mr. Paul uses this metal strip with lots of numbers on it to tell him where the pictures should go.  He said it is called a tape measure, but it doesn't measure tape.  It measures the wall where pictures go.  Maybe it should be called a wall measure or a picture measure.   I have never seen The Lady use anything like this, whatever you want to call it, when she puts stuff on the wall.  She just bangs a nail in the wall and hopes that it is in the right place.  Most of the time its not.  That's probably why the wall hanging that Mr. Paul fixed fell off of the wall in the first place...The Lady is the one who put it on the wall.

Mr. Paul also comes and monster sits with me, the feline, and the canine monsters when Mr. Guy and The Lady are gone for a long time.  He takes good care of all of us!

When Mr. Paul is not making us new stuff or fixing our broken stuff, he makes cars.  Not the kind of cars that people and monsters ride in to go places...he makes little cars that people collect.  Mr. Paul is known by people all over the world because of the little cars that he makes.

I'm happy that Mr. Paul can make stuff and fix stuff for us, but more importantly, I am thankful that he is our friend.  Thank you Mr. Paul for everything.  I will try to keep Mr. Guy and The Lady from breaking things so you can have a rest!

Oh...thanks for wearing that bright orange shirt so that you would match me today!